her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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