the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
third nipple confirmed
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
