yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
