Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
