Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
