Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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