i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
