Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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