Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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