I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
