Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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