Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
