you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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