Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
