So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize