i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
