So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
