She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
