i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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