Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
