I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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