She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
