i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
