That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
