Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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