Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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