she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
