Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
