Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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