How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
