Ambien. No doubt about it.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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