I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
