I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
