You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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