weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
