I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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