Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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