I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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