i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
