singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
