You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
