I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
