I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
