I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
