Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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