so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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