I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
