Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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