so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
