If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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