this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
