Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
