Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
