i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
