I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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