Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
