To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
