he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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