That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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