problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
