I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
