...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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