everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
