Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
